“Who am I and why am I me?”

My brother Micah מיכה Bookman rhymed this week. He is not the typical artsy poet type, nonetheless what he said rang true with me.

Who am I and why am I me?

What am I now and what can I Be?

A brother, a son, a friend, and a Jew

A Garin Tzabar member and an Israeli so new

Names and labels, plenty I’ve had

But they are just words and fleeting as sand

I define myself by the people I love

And the way I relate to the Man up above

It’s the goals that I set that make me who I am

And answer the question of what makes me a man

Who am I? why am I me?

I’m not everything that I yet am to be

I think my brother had it right, we are who we love and what we love. As I spoke about last week, in Israel death is a part of life, just as it is in every country, but here it is a bit different because everyone knows someone who has died defending this country. In a lot of cases it is 18 year-old sons and daughters. But for some reason this element of life in Israel doesn’t make people abandon this dream the people live here, or for that matter even prevent people from coming to Israel. I believe this is a type of love. A love for this little piece of land that we can call home, as Jews and as people with love in our hearts for this land.

Today we rose to have Hummus (choomoos) lunch at 12 after a long night at the pub. We went around in a circle sharing what we liked/disliked and wished to comment on about the week. Micah, who earlier in the week sustained a hairline fracture in foot, said that when he was at the doctor getting a cast, that his dreams seemed to be disappearing before his eyes. All his dreams to be a soldier in the צבא vanishing before his eyes. Much to Micah’s delight Yarden (Jordan) showed up five minutes later Zionism and optimism intact as always to cheer his brother up. Micah shared that when Yarden got there things seemed to get better, the problems that he had been experiencing before seemed to just disappear. The following story, and I think that last one for this post is another about love.

Last night after the pub we inevitably got to talking politics. After some angry debate and even some inappropriate remarks, on my part as well, we were trying to take Micah back to his room. Because he is on crutches he needs a little assistance and after a full night at the bar more than a little spot is needed. Meanwhile Yarden, Micah and I were still yelling and arguing. Micah stops. Cold. Says to Yarden, quietly, over and over. I need you on my left side, I need you on my left side. After a slight bit of drunken confusion on which side is left, Yarden joined Micah on his left side. For me this is love. To be able to argue, quarrel, brawl, whatever it is that brothers do and be able to pick yourself off the floor and tell your brother you love him.

Despite our disagreement we are all here together, as brothers and we all love each other very much…. SO when its time to fight, we fight. When its time to hug, we hug.

Yarden was guarding Micah when he had his injury (They were fighting for a ball on the soccer field). But he was also there in the hospital to hug him and help him heal.

Even though Yarden, Micah and I tend to see things quite differently there is always love. A hand extended. And as Micah said last night. “Always extend a hand, no matter how many times its slapped away, you hold your hand out forever.” That is love for me. Always an extended hand, always an open heart.

Here in Israel there are a lot of open hearts, lots of hearts vulnerable to be broken. But in the end it’s love. Love is the worst and best. The good and the bad, the tough and the simple.

I pray that God blesses all of you on this Shabbat with all the good and none of the bad, but that if the bad comes, you will be in presence of family and that love will surround you.

From Israel, with all the love that you can possibly imagine or for that matter need.

אנדרו

Some questions answered, and thoughts worth sharing

People ask me frequently: "Why are you doing this?" "This" Going to Israel, joining the צבא(IDF). Do you feel you have something to prove? Is it about the money? Are you afraid? What will you do after?

It is difficult for me to explain each emotion I have, or even the thoughts that cross my mind when these different questions are asked, however I hope that here I can begin to give everyone a little insight to who I am and why it is that I am choosing to move to Israel, and join the Israel Defense Forces.

I was nine years old when I moved to Israel with my parents in 1999 . Starting the 3rd grade I believe. Honestly, when I look back I admire my parents for the choice they made to make Aliyah. To leave the US, everyone and everything you have ever known, and for what? an idea, a dream? a different life. In my mind this is called courage, bravery even. If you know me chances are you have realized two things, first that I am an idealist. I believe in optimism and action, and above all respect. Israeli society cherishes many different things, of the most important in my mind are children, family and respect. In Israel every 18 year old male or female joins the army. Fore me this creates a sort of "level playing field." Each and every person does something different in the army but it is all under one roof. Now, I will be the first to tell you that there are expectations surrounding many aspects of the army, for example combat or non-combat positions. For the most part most able-bodied males in Israel must serve in a combat or (קרבי) units. However, I am an only child to my mother which means that unless she signs off on it, I cannot join a combat unit. Some may think this is a blessing, and some might say its a curse, for me it is a mixture of the two. BUt rest assured it occupies my mind constantly. My point here is not my personal situation but an essence of national service that is created and a love and respect of all soldiers.

My choice to join the army did not come from a desire to be in a Elite unit, or even combat for that matter. As you might have guessed my decision was almost entirely based on ideology. I had a choice when I finished high school to go to the army or to go to college. Even though most of my friends in Israel were preparing for the army and a part of me thought that I should be too, I was just not ready. For what particular reason I do not know, but in retrospect this last year I spent at the University of Michigan in Ann Arbor could not have been more invaluable.

Tamid (תמיד) in Hebrew this word means always, or forever. For me this word epitomizes why I am motivated to serve in the IDF and live in Israel. First and foremost I value the lifestyle and culture in Israel, there is so much love and warmth in her people. Despite conflict and hardship the hospitality and kindness there is unimaginable. I adore the way that children are treated. Living in Israel was a young kid you are exposed to everything, because in Israel children are everyone's joy and responsibility. I cannot be quite sure, but my guess is that this springs from the Kibbutznik roots that Israel is founded on. *On older Kibbutzim all children were put together in one residence and did not live with their parents, that is to say that they were more children of the kibbutz than children of their parents. This same notion is true today I think, I was free to roam the streets of Israel with my nine and ten year old friends, learning independence, responsibility and other valuable lessons. It may come as a surprise to a lot of you, but Israel; despite what you might think; or have heard, has one of the lowest rates of all violent crime. For some reason the sense of community that you feel in Israel, especially when you are Jewish really makes your life different. Visiting neighbors spur of the moment, always welcome in anyone's home. There is an innate desire to help your fellow citizen in Israel, a sort of unspoken understanding that your country is my country and we have both fought and sacrificed to protect it, now we will work together to preserve it. This sort of communal and mutual understanding really helps to bring people together, to create moral values that are sound and important. These are the values I want to help preserve. I want people to know what a wonderful place Israel is, and to be able to visit with happiness and excitement not to merely shy away with apprehension. Israel has much much more to offer than what I have alluded to here, but my point is to share with you a little about my motivation to do this not to sell you on a tour to Israel ( Although if your interested flights are cheaper in the winter!).

On a recent trip to Israel, I was walking with a group of friends by the Baha'i Gardens in Haifa, shockingly the stunning landscape was not what most attracted my attention. A group of about ten four-year-old children walking by from a local day care, caught my eye, and kept it. They looked so happy, so free-- and yes their cute Hebrew accents didn't hurt them either. I just had a moment that day. I said to myself I want their to be more kids like these, free and happy kids. Thats the way it should be. SO now that I have rambled on quite enough I will move on to my plans for the next bit of my life, and attempt to give you a little insight of what's to come for me.

Today is July 15. I have 16 days before my flight to New York's John F. Kennedy Airport, where after an overnight flight from Sacramento I will wait with my fellow soon to be Israeli's to catch our flight to Tel Aviv. If you have talked to me recently you know that I am a part of the Garin Tzabar Program. Basically this means that I have been meeting with twenty of the world's coolest and most down to earth people for the last five months, once a month, to get to know them. We will all be living together in Kibbutz Beit Ha'Emek in the Galilee. As a family we will move through this journey together, the program helping with anything from army enlistment to getting a drivers license. Once we all enter the army, it will be as if we were coming from an Israeli high school, so we will only get to see each other back at the Kibbutz, much like you would a family. Now obviously this is not the entire story but for the sake of brevity I'll keep the details to myself, but if for any reason you want to email me, about this or anything else here you go(aessol@umich.edu).

On August 5th at Tel Aviv University in Israel, the program will officially start with a ceremony, chalk full of dignitaries and the like. Immediately after, all our luggage and belongings in hand we will bus up to Beit Ha'Emek and the journey will begin.

Until then, ill be home. Pondering, waiting. Staying excited for my trip, trying to not let me anxiety get the better of me.

One last thought. I will be thinking of all of you when I go to Israel, everyone who is reading this is special, even the people who I do not know as well. You are taking your ever valuable time to read this, and in that way you are supporting me, and for that I thank you and pray for you.

All the love in the world, more than you can possibly imagine.

אנדרו (Andrew)