“Who am I and why am I me?”

My brother Micah מיכה Bookman rhymed this week. He is not the typical artsy poet type, nonetheless what he said rang true with me.

Who am I and why am I me?

What am I now and what can I Be?

A brother, a son, a friend, and a Jew

A Garin Tzabar member and an Israeli so new

Names and labels, plenty I’ve had

But they are just words and fleeting as sand

I define myself by the people I love

And the way I relate to the Man up above

It’s the goals that I set that make me who I am

And answer the question of what makes me a man

Who am I? why am I me?

I’m not everything that I yet am to be

I think my brother had it right, we are who we love and what we love. As I spoke about last week, in Israel death is a part of life, just as it is in every country, but here it is a bit different because everyone knows someone who has died defending this country. In a lot of cases it is 18 year-old sons and daughters. But for some reason this element of life in Israel doesn’t make people abandon this dream the people live here, or for that matter even prevent people from coming to Israel. I believe this is a type of love. A love for this little piece of land that we can call home, as Jews and as people with love in our hearts for this land.

Today we rose to have Hummus (choomoos) lunch at 12 after a long night at the pub. We went around in a circle sharing what we liked/disliked and wished to comment on about the week. Micah, who earlier in the week sustained a hairline fracture in foot, said that when he was at the doctor getting a cast, that his dreams seemed to be disappearing before his eyes. All his dreams to be a soldier in the צבא vanishing before his eyes. Much to Micah’s delight Yarden (Jordan) showed up five minutes later Zionism and optimism intact as always to cheer his brother up. Micah shared that when Yarden got there things seemed to get better, the problems that he had been experiencing before seemed to just disappear. The following story, and I think that last one for this post is another about love.

Last night after the pub we inevitably got to talking politics. After some angry debate and even some inappropriate remarks, on my part as well, we were trying to take Micah back to his room. Because he is on crutches he needs a little assistance and after a full night at the bar more than a little spot is needed. Meanwhile Yarden, Micah and I were still yelling and arguing. Micah stops. Cold. Says to Yarden, quietly, over and over. I need you on my left side, I need you on my left side. After a slight bit of drunken confusion on which side is left, Yarden joined Micah on his left side. For me this is love. To be able to argue, quarrel, brawl, whatever it is that brothers do and be able to pick yourself off the floor and tell your brother you love him.

Despite our disagreement we are all here together, as brothers and we all love each other very much…. SO when its time to fight, we fight. When its time to hug, we hug.

Yarden was guarding Micah when he had his injury (They were fighting for a ball on the soccer field). But he was also there in the hospital to hug him and help him heal.

Even though Yarden, Micah and I tend to see things quite differently there is always love. A hand extended. And as Micah said last night. “Always extend a hand, no matter how many times its slapped away, you hold your hand out forever.” That is love for me. Always an extended hand, always an open heart.

Here in Israel there are a lot of open hearts, lots of hearts vulnerable to be broken. But in the end it’s love. Love is the worst and best. The good and the bad, the tough and the simple.

I pray that God blesses all of you on this Shabbat with all the good and none of the bad, but that if the bad comes, you will be in presence of family and that love will surround you.

From Israel, with all the love that you can possibly imagine or for that matter need.

אנדרו